(4:00 A.M. - 5:00 A.M.)
Review/Commentary
Reviewer: D
Could you hear the cries ring out from '24' fans all over the world – “NO! Tony, please don't say those words, don't even imply that there is life outside of CTU.” Because as sure as Edgar is a virgin that means, Mr. Almeida, that you are DOOMED! CTU is a jealous mistress, my soul-patched friend, and she does not suffer lightly those who stray.
You think you had it tough before? Sure, life between seasons 3 and 4 hasn't been a picnic -- abbreviated prison sentence, skanky girlfriend, basic cable, and no pennant for the Cubbies -- but dammit man, at least you were alive! As long as you have a pulse, you've got a chance with mmmmlicious Michelle. But if you fall victim to mmmmaniac Mandy, Michelle might just give-in to the advances of stuffy bureaucrats like Buchanan, and wouldn't that be a tragedy?
I’m not forgetting about all the other cool and emotional stuff that happened this episode, some of which might be marginally more important than Michelle and Tony. There is a nuclear warhead meandering through the sky somewhere after all, conveniently scheduled to come down sometime during the season finale (curious timing – it’s almost enough to make one think that network executives are plotting with terrorists…). But one thing I've noticed in almost every commentary I've read about 24 is that reviewers generally can't stop from jumping to the end. If you ask me, it's one more thing that confirms how awesome (yes, I just said awesome) 24 is. The plotting and suspense are such that almost every episode ends with a scene or situation that will echo in your head for hours or days afterward.
And this week’s episode was no exception. Finally, after a half-dozen fits and starts, Tony and Michelle get down to sucking some face. The lead-up to it was lame: Tony again summarizes the Jack/Audrey relationship unnecessarily. Is that your best line Tony? It didn't work the first time, I'm surprised you tried it again. But I guess we should never underestimate the writers' need to recap things for us dimwit viewers.
Later, as Tony is walking out, Michelle finally breaks down, admits she hasn't had an orgasm in 2 years, and we're off to the tongue wrestling. It was kind of a weird grindy kiss with lips smearing all over in different directions but TV kisses are like that sometimes and, you know, it was Michelle, so how bad could that be? But it's not enough to get these lovebirds together; it's time to toy with some emotions. It wouldn't be 24 otherwise. Michelle and Tony agree to let less attractive actors take over that wacky terrorist-hunting business just as soon as...well, just as soon as Tony gets back from one laaaast little bit of business. Like, um, maybe getting his head blown off?
Later, as Tony is walking out, Michelle finally breaks down, admits she hasn't had an orgasm in 2 years, and we're off to the tongue wrestling. It was kind of a weird grindy kiss with lips smearing all over in different directions but TV kisses are like that sometimes and, you know, it was Michelle, so how bad could that be? But it's not enough to get these lovebirds together; it's time to toy with some emotions. It wouldn't be 24 otherwise. Michelle and Tony agree to let less attractive actors take over that wacky terrorist-hunting business just as soon as...well, just as soon as Tony gets back from one laaaast little bit of business. Like, um, maybe getting his head blown off?
You knew they were gearing up for Tony to get put in the hot seat as soon as Jack asked for him explicitly to come along on this latest search-and-get-destroyed mission. If we've learned one thing this year, it's that Jack tends to repay those who save his life by getting them killed. I swear, if he ever calls me and asks for help, I'm going to start talking in a foreign language and then hang up. "No speaky the English, Meester Bow-air."
Then after the lip-lock with Michelle, you had that lingering look as Tony went off to catch the helicopter. [It even looked like a half-smile to me, like “Don’t worry about me, little lady.”-J] He might not have said it, but Tony might as well have tossed off: “Here’s looking at you, kid” as he walked out the door.
And you know, when I watched the show I was upset at the thought of Tony getting knocked off. But today I’ve come to terms with it. Carlos Bernard is a great actor and I’ve loved the Tony/Michelle bit all along. But, you know, if Tony kicks the bucket, then there is the possibility of a bitter, wanton, bereft Michelle next season, dark and vindictive and liable to use sex as a weapon. She could be kind of like Erin Driscoll at the beginning of this season only more like a woman.
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