(Miscellaneous Timing)
Review/Commentary
Reviewer: D
Well, it’s getting to be that time of year. And I don’t mean the holidays.
“24” is set to start Day 4 in just a few short, eggnog-intensive weeks. And those of you with a fervent interest in this event, well, you should probably get a life. But since I don’t plan on getting one anytime soon, it seemed like a good idea to scan the features of the new “24: Day 3” DVD to look for clues on the upcoming season, and of course, report on them with the usual depth, clarity and snarky attitude readers have come to expect from “NotTheRock.”
The “24: Day 3” Bonus Features disk has both a “Day 4 Promo” and a “Day 4 Preview.” The titles of these segments are the only sloppy things about this surprisingly slick collection of 24 flotsam and jetsam. The “Preview” is a 2-minute extended commercial. The “Promo” is a 6.5-minute “mini-episode” with 4 scenes of the type you might actually see on the show. I don’t know if the “Promo” scenes were produced thinking they’d be incorporated into the show or if they were made specifically for the DVD (see that depth of reporting I was talking about?). Regardless, it’s a clever way to whet the appetite for the new season.
Unfortunately, in terms of content, the “Preview” and the “Promo” work against each other. The 2-minute segment reveals virtually as much plot as the longer one, and with more dazzle and action. The “Promo” does provide at least two moments worthy of interest for the true “24” fanatic. So here’s a quick recap:
We start out with the last scene of last season: Our fractured hero, Jack Bauer climbs into his SUV and breaks down crying. Yes, it seems, Jack is human. Then, we see a title card that reads “3 months later.” Jack enters the office of the apparent new head of CTU, Erin Driscoll, a stern middle-aged woman with shoulder-length dark hair. This woman is not hot. She is anti-hot. She sucks hotness out of a room. If there are any scenes forthcoming in the new season that include both Driscoll and our girl Elisha (I mean, Kim Bauer), I expect Elisha will vanish into another dimension.
After momentary small talk, she tells him that she’s removing him as head of Field Ops for CTU. She says that it isn’t his “off-book” behavior but his addiction to heroin that is prompting this action. In the first moment making this feature vaguely interesting, she tellingly declares that the addiction shows his weakness and “I don’t tolerate any weaknesses.”
I hereby dub this character “der Fuhrer.”
Der Fuhrer offers to help Jack find a new job and, in the second moment worthy of interest, Jack leaves the room stating, “I can find my own f___ing job.” At this point, my opinion of Jack falters. Sure he’s a bit of a rogue agent, a killer, and a drug addict, but that’s no reason to use bad language! See how revealing these DVDs are?
Then it’s 1 year later, and we have a dark scene on the US-Mexican border. A bald guy is being snuck across the line by a couple of mexicanos. When baldy gets across, he is met by a third guy. Third guy takes Baldy to a car whereupon he shoots dispensable mexicano number one point blank and drops him in the trunk. He then pulls out a nifty little transmitter device, pushes a button and the van holding dispensable extras #2 and #3 blows up (where can I get one of those?) [Wouldn’t this mean he just rode in a van rigged to explode? No matter how calm and cool you are, I would think this tightens the sphincter a bit – J] . He pulls out a funky cell phone (satellite phone? Field transmitter? Some toy that I should know about and covet but don’t) and says importantly: “I am in the US.”
Then, in a truly awkward titling moment, we are “6 hours before Day 4 begins.” Hmmm. It seems “24” is all about time and yet exists strangely alone in it’s own temporal plane. Anyway, a willowy blonde unlocks a door and steps into a room. She says “Hello,” drops her keys and is then grabbed from behind. After a beat of uncertainty, the camera reveals her smile as she turns and starts making out with the stranger. They fall into bed and eventually roll into a position where we can see that the guy is – surprise! – Jack.
A series of title cards then inform us that “He lost his job”….”But he found a woman who loved him”…."It took a long time for Jack Bauer to feel good again"….and now here I’m starting to expect a drug commercial or something, you know “…and he owes it all to Prozac.” But no instead we are ominously told “Then Day 4 began.”
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